Financial turmoil can be a happy couple’s worst nightmare. Money woes have been causing men and women to clash like tectonic plates for decades. This kind of volatility undoubtedly creates massive earthquakes under the continent of love. The last thing I need is an 8.5 on the Richter to assonate my vibe.
In the beginning when you’re dating (the fronting stage) a dude is going to ball out a bit. Why, so he can showcase some sort of financial stability unless he’s a creep who’s only trying to beat. Let us not pretend like the status quo doesn’t’ dictate that a man fits the bill for the first few dates. In comparative fashion a woman will look her absolute best to stimulate his visual cortex.
This could mean getting her hair and nails done to compliment the new outfit she bought. Beauty cost baby and we all tend to splurge during the early stages of a courtship. Plus the release of dopamine can make us pretty dumb and distract us from wondering about a perspective partner’s current financial situation. The first 5-10 dates are centered on looking good and engaging pricy activities in order to impress each other.
When planning a future with your romantic interest, consider the impact of your past spending and borrowing habits.
A gentle man can become less gentle and increasingly hostile towards his lady when he’s under economic duress. Just as quickly a patient woman will gladly loose her marbles when her mate loses the grocery money in a dice game. If the main focus is on how the bills get paid, who’s worried about getting laid?
Financial disharmony can cause the warmth; support and affection to dry out faster than toast in the desert sun. Thus leaving that couple dissatisfied with their relationship. When the money starts looking funny the desire for hot sticky intimacy becomes a joke as well.
To reconnect sexually its imperative that the invisible wall erected with bricks of financial grief is destroyed. Reclaim that lost mojo. Team up and go head to head with that fiscal villainous bastard that’s slowly trampling all over relationships peace of mind.
Materialistic couples in particular are the ones who tend to have the biggest financial issues. They dash out, purchase expensive homes, stock them with expensive furniture and electronics, while parking luxurious foreign cars in their driveways. These couples also cloth themselves in the fanciest garments and routinely go jet setting to beautiful tropical islands.
I have absolutely no objections to people living the life that they love and deserve. However, I will raise an eyebrow to doing these things on a whim with money that could be allocated better.
When those statements start showing up that cash flow will quietly sneak out as the conflict crudely sneaks in.
I believe financial harmony is a powerful ally in loving relationships. That old school ritual of not discussing money and not disclosing your salary with your mate is primitive. In this day and age it’s not about the actual size of your bank account. It’s more about what you do with your coins, how you manage them, and how much of it you tuck away.
Conflicting monetary values like concealing unwarranted purchases while secretly checking your partners expenses is definitely a no, no (*Blows whistle* flag on the play). “Come on Ref”, financial opposites have been known to attract.
One plays the dependent role while the other needs to be depended upon. It’s an excellent practice if the goal is to show unwavering support for your mate. But not to the point of impeding bankruptcy dumb, dumb.
Look, I’ll level with you. Couples who cannot effectively plan together have no chance of reaching any financial goals. It’s really that simple.
“Get on the same page, head in the same financial direction”
You and your partner can do this by making a conscious effort to improve your attitudes towards money. It helps if you expand communication while refraining from making impulse purchases that do not take one another’s feelings into consideration.
In caring relationships, couples pool a portion of their earnings in a joint account then mutually decide how to spend it wisely. Self centered unions cash their checks, hold out and make purchases in accordance to their own agendas. This creates gaps in trust which stack the deck against any couple trying to obtain long term success.
Reconnecting financially is simple. Bear in mind that simplicity in no way, shape or form implies effortless. It often takes more time to climb out of a hole than it takes to dig one.
Here are six suggestions that you can start doing right now, today, with ease.
This is a keystone to get you on the road towards power couple status. Sit down with a pen and paper then collectively generate a vision that inspires you both. Taking a moment to agree on goals and prioritizing them is the best thing that two people can do for their relationship.
-Monitor Accounts Activity
Scrutinize your spending habits. At least once a month (preferably the last Saturday/Sunday) set aside some time to look over your finances. After finishing comparative analyses make sure that you guys are on target with your financial goals. Make the appropriate reassessments as your income and priorities evolve.
Heck yeah, it’s healthy for couples to maintain some degree of financial anonymity to keep from flat out strangling one another. So, in order to keep oxygen supplies plentiful I recommend the his, hers, and ours banking system. Each individual maintains their own personal account while depositing a percentage of their earnings into a shared account. Set up a system that suits you both while working for the greater good of the relationship.
Share Spending Responsibilities
Typically he brings home the bacon; she fires it up and makes it edible. No, no, no, not in my house. To hell with that! Learn to share the responsibility of managing your funds. Both parties involved should be knowledgeable about what’s coming in and what’s going out. Review your statements and discuss them with together. One of you handles the bills while the other over sees the saving practices.
Do We Really Need This?
When those pupils dilate and your palms begin to sweat at the sight of a frivolous item you yearn to purchase, clear it with your mate. If at all possible discuss it immediately if time permits. Guidelines and limits will damn near obliterate that impulse to buy. This kind of communication nurtures the habit of financial openness which makes those dreaded money talks flow nice and smooth.
When a couple is financially assured by having moola tucked away for a rainy day it’s comforting. This level of comfort will drive your libidos into the stratosphere. A nice sum of currency in the bank is like a warm snuggy for your sense of security. Pay yourselves first. The amount should be in direct correlation with the goals you and your partner have agreed upon. In today’s economy it’s more important than ever for couples to stay connected and ahead of the curve. Financial uncertainty leads to anxiety which causes distress in the bedroom. Keep those accounts healthy and the passion will take care of itself.
Until next time
Keep ur wallet/purses close and that special someone closer.