Let me start off by saying…….“YA’LL TALK TOO MUCH!!!”
It was to my understanding that a secret was meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others. Like my grand pappy says “a secret between two people is no longer a secret”.
On one hand validation is a hell of a drug. On the other hand, it’s so tough to decipher between friends and foes these days that validation seems to be an unnecessary addiction. So, stop chasing that damn dragon!
But fret not. It’s quite alright because at one point or another we have all preferred to be noticed, praised and patted on the back.
Now, in the game of life we all cross paths with individuals who go out of their way to be noticed. They’re always name dropping and disclosing the price tag of some material asset that they have purchased.
“BUT NO F#&KING BODY ASKED THEM”
Society encourages that it is socially acceptable to be an open book with a table of contents that can be easily navigated. Of course society wants us to volunteer secrets about our plans and intentions. Why, because of that uncanny need to portray ourselves as a person of significance.
Some people thrive on being the center of attention. It’s quite invigorating to be classified as a super cool person who’s well known and admired. Depending on your occupation it’s not a bad thing, especially if you dabble in the entertainment arena.
But this new digital generation has everybody and their mama out her acting a damn fool for some “LIKES”. In my era the street life stayed in the streets. You would only get a glimpse of the hood if you physically went there or if you listened to the latest hood mix tapes.
Step into the Matrix where your every move can be tracked via phone GPS, CCTV, and by posting on social networks. Don’t get me wrong, I love technologies progression but there are too many stupid people with smart phones gallivanting about.
It is a magnificent rule of thumb to act accordingly in all situations. Keep in mind that transparency highlights your weaknesses making it easier for a hater to sabotage your efforts.
However there are neurotic individuals that are completely astounded by the robust tone of their own jabber jawing. “I’ve done this, I’ve done that, I know this, and I know that”.
“Mitch…. I only asked you what time was it…. Damn? Miss me with the autobiography please!”
I’m sure that you know exactly who I am talking about. That one guy you avoid making eye contact with in the cafeteria at your job. How about the girl that you duck and hide from on the subway platform during your morning commute? Yes, we avoid these characters at all cost because their futile attempts to gain validation from us is Ayyy-noy-ying.
Being an open book creates familiarity thus making the banter between yourself and these idiots beyond predictable. Talking to them is like having hot candle wax poured on your lower extremities. It’s bearable but not something you’d like to do with your free time.
A childhood friend of mine, my A1 day one from the sand box once told me “stop trapping to be seen, trap hard so you can disappear”. He’s been self-employed for over 15 years. In the beginning he used to stunt wild crazy. He had tons of jewelry, drove a Benz, wore expensive cloths and of course the ladies adored his flamboyant swagger.
Now he drives a base model Dodge, has a normal wardrobe (expensive but not glitzy) wears with a nice time piece and you guessed it, yep he still an object of the ladies affection. If you were to ever comment on this guy’s financial situation he would crack a smile and say “Bad Boys Move in Silence”.
Hide your desires, not by clamming up but by talking endlessly about your goals, just not your real ones.
Dishonesty will always be associated with lies but not every deceiver is a person who misleads with fabricated anecdotes.
These deceivers have mastered the art of demonstrating bland behavior that makes their patterns of conduct less predictable. For them it’s easy to lead others to believe the opposite of what they are really doing.
I totally enjoy being elusive and fading to black. For me, it’s therapeutic. I can go missing in action whenever I feel like it. My definition of missing in action means honing my focus.
This is when you sharpen your ability of talking less and doing more.
How to be Elusive?
1. Stop volunteering information.
Practice keeping your trap shut. This will help you avoid being the subject of negative, useless opinions that are directed towards your goals. Decide that your going to do something and do it. Skip the second opinions, they don’t matter.
2. Learn how to say “That information is classified”.
Some things are personal and need to be kept under wraps. For example, your income. Friends and family should not have access to that info. You instantly become the face that pops into the mind of someone who needs a loan that they don’t intend on repaying. We all need some degree of secrecy in our lives. It helps us to keep our sanity.
3. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?
Do not share the deepest, intimate, aspects of your love life. It’s cool to converse casually we’ve all done it. But you have to chill with the power point presentation. Being candid about your sex game is a great way to get cock blocked.
4. Blend in with those around you.
Conceal your purpose and hide those intentions by controlling your tongue. We let our guard down a bit when others are fishing for idle chitchat. So be careful how you respond to those questions aimed at getting all in your business.
5. Refrain from revealing…..
- What keeps your relationship strong?
- Family conflicts at home.
- Your invisible strengths.
- Your addictions.
- Anything that can be used as a bargaining chip.
Try to bear in mind that your stellar tactics can and will be used against you. It takes patience and humility to dull those brilliant colors of your personality and wear that mask of inconspicuousness.
Do not despair about having to wear a disguise of bland portions. It’s often your unreadable demeanor that will draw people to you and make you appear to be a person of great power.
“I don’t like to gossip so you did not hear any of this from me”